LOVE
Ageless love
Writer: Theresa Campbell Photo: Fred Lopez
Retired Methodist minister John Annas was a 103-year-old widower when he and Lenore Bayus, then 84, quietly eloped on Dec. 17, 2007, after family and friends told them getting married at their age was a silly idea.
The lovebirds chose to follow their hearts.
They met at Lake Port Square in Leesburg where they talked about God, Abraham Lincoln, and their love for poetry and intellectual books.
John loved wooing his bride, a retired librarian, by reciting a Robert Browning poem from memory: “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows by half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!”
“This was definitely God’s leading,” John said in 2010 of marrying Lenore at Morrison United Methodist Church. “I have discovered somebody who makes my half a whole. I’ve never been happier than I am now. I have a wonderful companionship with Lenore [Bayus] Annas, a woman who makes me smile, laugh, and she makes my heart sing.”
He made daily trips to visit Lenore when she was hospitalized and undergoing rehabilitation in early 2013. Wheeling from his assisted-living room, John would go down the hall to where she was in rehabilitation and give her a kiss each morning and wish her a goodnight every evening.
They were married for 5½ years before John passed away April 7, 2013. He was 108.
“We were very happy and had a good marriage, and I don’t remember any problems at all. We got along very well; we just seemed to click,” Lenore, now 93, says from her assisted-living room at Lake Port Square, where photos of her and John fill the walls.
“My friends thought I was crazy to marry John because he was a lot older,” says Lenore. “I don’t know what their problem was, but we didn’t have a problem with it…I think it was true love and the right thing.”
Lenore believes she and John were proof that love doesn’t stop as one ages. She also believes couples can make a relationship work by listening, communicating, and being there for each other, via teamwork.
In a Psychology Today survey administered to 21,501 couples, researchers found listening, flexibility, and teamwork were crucial compatibilities for couples to make their relationships work.
The researchers compared the answers of the happiest couples to the unhappiest, and they found that the differences between their answers to a few key questions revealed a lot about what it really takes to make love work.
The Psychology Today report says by willing to be rational about love, couples can learn from others’ experiences—and perhaps find and maintain a true love long after the initial chemistry fades.
The circle of love
Writer: James Combs
The first meaningful bond and relationship a child forms is with parents.
The baby cries. The parent cuddles. The baby smiles. The parent smiles back. The baby makes funny noises. The parent imitates those noises.
Back and forth, countless times throughout the day, that bond is strengthened.
And in the case of Leesburg resident Linda Watts, the child-parent bond is one that has lasted a lifetime.
Her mother, Ouida Kenney, is a 95-year-old resident of Umatilla who lives in the same home she purchased in 1960. Linda has openly embraced life’s inevitable role reversal: she is now the parent and her mother is the child.
Each week, Linda drives to her mother’s home and assists with grocery shopping, organizes her medication, completes household chores, and prepares weekly meals.
For Linda, being a caregiver is not taxing or arduous. It’s all about spending valuable time with her mother. And the time they have together is a constant reminder of their indestructible bond.
“Every time I leave she gives me a hug and kiss and thanks me for everything I do for her,” Linda says. “I tell her, ‘I will always be there for you no matter what.’”
Linda’s time is precious. A retired teacher, she serves as director of two nonprofit organizations—Florida’s Hometown USA Program and the Miss Leesburg Scholarship program. She assumes the daunting tasks of organizing several fundraisers throughout the year and coordinating volunteer opportunities for the young women in her program.
Still, her mother takes a backseat to nobody.
“No matter how busy I get, my mom always comes first,” Linda says. “However, I don’t do this alone. My sister, Lois Wetz, and brother, Greg Kenney, also help with doctor’s appointments and running errands.”
For Linda, it’s the least she could do for the person who once fed and clothed her, helped her with homework, and shaped her into the person she is today.
As a girl growing up in Umatilla, Linda admired her mother’s strength and resiliency. Ouida raised four children by herself. Her first husband died in an accident in 1946, and 12 years later her second husband succumbed to a heart attack.
Ouida proudly assumed the roles of housewife, breadwinner, mother, and family head. She worked as a cafeteria worker and custodian at Umatilla Elementary School.
“She worked at the school because she wanted to spend as much time as possible with us. She would get off work when we got off school. We never had to go do daycare or needed a babysitter. Because she was a cafeteria worker, the school allowed her to bring leftover food home so we could have it for dinner.”
The family was not wealthy, but Ouida always managed to provide. She used her sewing skills to make her children Halloween costumes and Easter dresses. And she always managed to stash a little extra money away when birthdays rolled around.
In fact, Linda’s 13th birthday is one she’ll never forget.
“My mom bought me a record player,” Linda fondly recalls. “She knew I really wanted one and worked hard to buy it for me. That’s one of the special memories about my mom that always stands out in my mind.”
When Linda needed money to attend her senior class trip to Washington D.C., Ouida held yard sales on the weekend.
“She even went on the trip as a chaperone. My mom was always involved in my life. She has taught me how to be strong, independent, and caring. She raised me to help others and that’s the only way of life I know.”
That caring spirit may explain why Ouida is still going strong at 95. She attends bible study, Sunday school, and worship services at First Baptist Church of Umatilla twice a week. At home, she solves word puzzles, reads Christian-inspired novels, and without fail, sends birthday cards to family members and friends.
“I know mom is not going to live forever, but in my mind her life is never going to end because she has always been there for me,” Linda says. “I love my mom so much, and I feel fortunate our relationship has been so strong all these years.”
I’m the best! I was here first!
Story: Leigh Neely Photo: Fred Lopez
Most siblings fight. However, if an outsider goes after one of them, you can bet they’ll band together and turn on the outsider.
The relationships between siblings is different from any relationship you’ll form with another person. The children of Steve and Debbie Munz are all busy with various individual interests, but they manage to do things together whenever they can.
Lane is 20 and attends college at Webber International University in Lake Wales. Away from home most of the week, he’s still a good sibling when in town. “Love means having to take my sister her lunch every day when I’m home from school,” Lane says.
It seems his sister Abbie, 17, a student at The Villages High School, loves Chick-Fil-A. When Lane’s not in town, she has a lot of other family members, friends’ mothers, and grandmothers who sub for him.
He takes his responsibilities as older brother very seriously. “I feel I need to keep them out of trouble,” he says. “They usually argue, and I try to separate them. I end up getting in trouble.”
Gralynn, 12, is a student at The Villages Charter School, and, typical of the oldest child, Lane believes his little sister gets in less trouble for doing the same things he did.
“I feel like I was the experimental child. They figured out what to do right with me,” he says.
All three children love animals—their two dogs watched and monitored everything during the interview—and there’s a deer herd on the property.
Lane, Abbie, and Gralynn all help with the animals, which are raised here to restock wildlife preserves. Lane goes on to say there’s no such thing as down time when you’re raising animals. “I remember one night it was raining hard, and a tree fell down. Me and my dad and our manager had to go out and saw branches off the tree and fix the fence,” Lane says.
When asked about some of their favorite memories, all but one story involved travel. It seems Abbie was the victim of the classic “you’re adopted” prank that siblings often pull.
“It was her 13th or 14th birthday,” Gralynn says, “and we decorated her room.”
“I came home from dance, and my entire room was covered with streamers and balloons,” Abbie says.
“They’re always telling me I’m adopted, so I decided to let her celebrate ‘Happy Adoption’ day,” Gralynn says.
The Munz children say the travel stories are their favorites because they get to spend so much time together.
Lane recalls the family’s trip to New York City for his graduation. “It was great having the family there. We went exploring, walked everywhere, and rode the subway. We saw ‘The Lion King,’ which was amazing. That was my favorite movie when I was little,” he says.
“He kept saying he wanted to meet a celebrity,” Abbie adds. “And finally, we met Kevin Hart at the airport when we were on our way home.”
Gralynn’s favorite trip was to The Keys, where she got to ride a jet ski, and Abbie recalled a trip to San Francisco, where her siblings fell asleep as soon as the plane took off. She was the only one awake when the pilot announced they had to return to Orlando because there was a problem with the plane. “I was scared when we were landing,” she says. “And they were asleep.”
Is there competition? Always, the three siblings admit.
“They do pageants, and when one wins and the other one doesn’t, it’s not a happy day in our house,” Lane says.
“I’m the best basketball player,” Abbie adds with a smile.
“She means she didn’t get an injury,” Gralynn says. “Getting an injury doesn’t mean you’re a bad player,” Lane reminds her.
They also compete when they go fishing together—who catches the first one, the biggest one, and the most fish.
All three of the kids have been “Sumter County Royalty.” Lane was Tiny Mr. Sumter County, and Abbie is 2016 Teen Miss Sumter County, and Gralynn was Sumter County Princess in 2014.
Steve and Debbie Munz are proud parents, and with three good reasons.
Forever Friends
Writer: Debbi Kiddy
Celebrity BFFs, like Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, are known for their longevity, as well as their star power. Most would agree that long-term friendships are healthy, yet most adults also admit they have very few friendships that have stood the test of time.
Studies confirm what many already know—spending time with long-term friends is not only fun, but also improves your health. Irene Levine, Ph.D., a psychologist and creator of “The Friendship Blog,” says one reason lifelong friendships are so appealing is your friend not only knows who you are today, but knows who you were. Communication flows easier when there is a positive history and shared memories.
Martha Clarke, 81, of Eustis, has known her friend, JoAnn Robertson, since they were five-year-olds. They went to the same school from kindergarten to high school and through Elon College High School in North Carolina.
“When we were girls, one of the things we loved to do was to climb the humongous—at least to us—tree that grew in JoAnn’s yard. We’d climb as high as we could and then swing from one limb to another. We didn’t worry about falling,” says Martha. “As we got older, we would get together and sew, or just take a walk and talk.”
In an article by Catherine Pearson, “5 Secrets of People with Lifelong Friends,” she says other important aspects of lasting friendships are keeping expectations realistic, being adaptable, appreciating for the uniqueness of the relationship, and offering forgiveness when needed.
Maintaining that priceless relationship gets more difficult as circumstances such as moving away, divorce, or even disagreements come into play.
Asked whether or not Martha and JoAnn ever had major disagreements, Martha says, “Sure, we had disagreements over the years. But if you love someone, you can forgive them, forget, and go on.”
Martha’s view is in line with Lisa Firestone, psychology expert on relationships and author, who wrote an online article, “Forgiveness: The Secret to a Healthy Relationship.” Lisa believes to truly enjoy a lasting friendship, friends should “grow their ability to forgive.”
Pets: They’re paw-esome!
Writer: James Combs
Owning a pet is one of life’s greatest loves. Pets provide companionship, help everyday worries melt away, and serve as instant mood-boosters. While they depend on us for basic needs, we equally depend on them to fill our hearts with warmth.
In past issues of Healthy Living, we delved extensively into the health benefits of owning a pet and allowed pet owners to tell us why their pet brings so much joy and love into their lives.
With this article, we’re doing something a little different. We posed the following question to several Lake County residents:
“If we asked your pet how you treat him/her, what would your pet say?”
Here’s how they answered.
“My mommy treats me like a child. She is strict on my diet, and she keeps me off the countertops. However, she also encourages lots of play and snuggles. My mommy works very hard during the day as a teacher and sometimes doesn’t give me enough attention in the early-morning hours because she is tired and needs to sleep. Also, I wish she would let me wander outside sometimes, but going outside is an absolute no-no.”
—Mount Dora resident Katie Lewis, owner of Neddo, a 7-year-old black shorthaired cat.
“I love to ride on your shoulder, but sometimes you leave me in my cage too long.”
—Leesburg resident Tom Grizzard, owner of Chico, a 12-year-old green wing macaw.
“My name is Diesel and I’m a 6-year-old English Bulldog. I love my daddy, Stan Gause of Stan’s Premium Cars. He is my best friend. I am living a charmed life. He throws me the Frisbee, plays tug-of-war, and loves on me at every turn. But, despite shedding my hair, farting all the time, and constant loud snoring, Stan still loves me. Sometimes I chew things I’m not supposed to, eat things that aren’t mine, and slobber too much, but Stan still loves me. Sometimes when I go poo, I take too long, and when I go pee, I kill the grass, but Stan still loves me. Sometimes my butt itches and I spin on the floor, I sleep on furniture I’m not supposed to, and I bark at things that he can’t see, but Stan still loves me. Sometimes I make a mess of my food, drink too much water, and poop in the back of his Mercedes, but Stan still loves me. So, despite my quirks and bad habits, that is why I love my dad Stan because he is my very best friend.”
—Silver Lake resident Stan Gause, owner of Diesel, a 6-year-old English bulldog.
“My mommy and daddy spoil me. Sometimes, I get to go to the studio and hang out all day. After that, I know we will head to the park then I might get a few bites of a sandwich. Sometimes I get chicken from Oakwood and that is my favorite. I let them know how much I appreciate it by rolling around on my back…yum, yum! Daddy and I always spend time in the yard, we play ball, and walk around. Mommy joins us to sit and watch sunsets. When daddy mows or works in the yard, I always hang around and make sure he is OK. In the evenings, mommy and daddy spend time hanging out in my home, which is the garage. But it’s not just any garage. I’ve got a doggie door, carpet, my plush bed, paddle fan, and even an air conditioning vent. It’s a great life!”
—Leesburg resident Myron Leggett, owner of Lexie, a 12-year-old golden retriever.
About the Author: Akers Editorial
