GOOD GRIEF: Nine stages of grief and how to help someone through them
Everyone has to face the fact of death and that it’s natural for those left behind to experience some form of grief. However, research has shown grieving is a complicated process. There’s more than the five stages people often reference. In fact, there are as many as nine components that have been identified, and understanding the different elements can make it easier for those grieving and those supporting them.
1. Shock
Shock is the first reaction of many people as they try to absorb the fact someone close to them has died. It’s important to provide initial support to someone, see to their immediate needs, and even get them medical treatment if necessary.
2. Disorganization
Disorganization tends to follow shock as the individual finds it difficult to focus on everyday tasks. A parent may struggle with the routine of getting children fed and ready for school, or an employee might have difficulty in carrying out their normal tasks.
3. Denial
It’s not uncommon for someone to deny the reality of the situation, preferring instead to believe a mistake was made. Some may need coaxing out of this belief if there’s a danger of retreating into it completely. Denial may be stronger if the death was unexpected.
4. Depression
Depression occurs when the individual suffers feelings of despair and spends a lot of time pining for the deceased person. This does not mean the individual needs medication, but it does indicate the low feelings they may be experiencing.
5. Guilt
While it may seem illogical to outsiders, someone who is bereaved may believe the death is their fault and that perhaps it would not have occurred if they had done, or not done, something. This, in particular, is a problem for young children who don’t have the cognitive maturity to understand they don’t control everything and bad things do happen. It can be an even bigger issue for those affected by suicide, and who convince themselves they should have noticed something.
6. Anxiety or Panic Attacks
Sometimes the stress of bereavement can be overwhelming, especially if the individual relied heavily on the deceased, there were complications surrounding the death, or there are money and housing issues to deal with. Medication or other strategies, such as breathing exercises, may help here.
7. Aggression
Feelings are sometimes released as aggression, hostility, or anger. These feelings may be directed toward others or focused internally. Allowing the individual to talk through their feelings can help them manage and release emotions in a way that won’t damage themselves or others.
8. Resolution
Resolution occurs when the the worst of the grief has passed and an individual begins to accept the situation.
9. Reintegration
This is the final element of the grieving process and can happen as soon as a couple of weeks after the death, or more often, about six weeks. The individual starts to rebuild his or her life, though it may feel disloyal moving on and starting to feel more positive about life and the future.
Any event as major as a death creates strong feelings and has an impact on those involved. Everyone is different and moves through the stages of grief at a personal pace; it’s normal for someone to experience different elements simultaneously and even to regress on occasion. The cause of death can be a key factor; it may be marginally easier to prepare for death when it’s expected and more difficult when it’s due to murder or suicide. Some people may struggle more with feelings of guilt or thoughts of having to continue without the person they’ve lost.
Grief is rarely easy to deal with or to watch. Perhaps, however, it can be made more bearable for the bereaved and those who love them by having an idea of what’s involved and knowing that, given time, the worst of it will pass.
BEREAVEMENT COUNSELORS
[mks_col][mks_one_half]Michele Delafranconi
Summit Mental Health Services
214 East Washington Street, Suite A
Minneola, Florida 34715
(352) 364-5544
Summitmentalhealthservices.com
Andy Watson
In Harmony Counseling
2250 Old US Highway 441
Mount Dora, Florida 32757
(352) 458-4291
Samantha Lindmeier
100 South 11th Street
Suite 101
Leesburg FL 34748
(352) 503- 1246
Dawn Kokernak
Villages Counseling Center
416 Teague Trail
The Villages, Florida 32159
(352) 478-0407
Villagescounselingcenter.com
Jackie Ambrow
E Pluribus, LLC
Eustis, Florida 32736
(888) 315-1883
Hypnosisdoeswonders.com
Saundra S. Scott
Trinity Escape, LLC Counseling & Coaching
240 Mohawk Road
Clermont, Florida 34715
(352) 553-4874
Trinityescape.com
Jasmine Parker
357 Plaza Drive
Eustis, Florida 32726
(321) 337-0454
Pamela Hand
4820 HWY 19A
Suite 2
Mount Dora, Florida 32757
(352) 508-4337
Jerry F. Phillips
Upper Room Counseling Center, Inc.
3420 US HWY 24/441
Fruitland Park, Florida 34731
(352) 435-4631
Upperroomcounselingcenter.com
Suzanne Howard
Central Florida Counseling & Psychological Services
1514 W. Main St.
Leesburg FL. 34748
(352) 503-0164
About the Author: Akers Editorial
