Does Juan Valdez have high blood pressure?

Questionable criticism of coffee continues to pour in

Have you seen Juan Valdez lately? Certainly, you remember Juan Valdez. He’s appeared in print and TV advertisements on behalf of Colombian coffee growers since the 1950s. Juan’s goal was to distinguish 100 percent Colombian coffee from coffee blended from several countries. Juan usually was accompanied by a mule that carried sacks of fresh coffee beans. (In case you’re ever a contestant on “Jeopardy,” the mule’s name is Conchita.)

Juan seems to have disappeared lately. One theory is that Juan is angry over all the nasty things people say about coffee and he’s gone into hiding in the mountains of Colombia—or the jungles or deserts of Colombia or wherever one hides in Colombia.

Discounting water, coffee is the most popular drink on Earth, but it still gets plenty of complaints. (Beer is only No. 4 on the top 10 list, but my friend Bubba is doing his part to move it up a notch or two.)

Coffee is berated over and over again. There was that old malarkey about coffee stunting children’s growth. And charges that coffee does terrible things to your digestive system. Coffee is always found innocent.

The latest criticism is that coffee raises your blood pressure. That’s true to an extent—but only briefly. “Caffeine can cause a short but dramatic increase in your blood pressure, even if you don’t have high blood pressure,” according to Dr. Sheldon G. Sheps of the Mayo Clinic. “It’s unclear what causes this spike in blood pressure,” he added.

Coffee is our biggest provider of caffeine, a psychoactive drug that stimulates the release of certain hormones in the brain and gives us an energy “kick.” While drinking coffee does immediately cause an increase in your blood pressure, the effect typically lasts only for a maximum of three hours.

On the positive side, coffee is generally considered a health food and is linked to numerous health benefits. Many observational studies actually found that coffee consumption is linked to improved heart health.

We’re still left with the question of Juan Valdez’s location. Cartoonist Mike Peters may have given us the answer, though it resulted in the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia threatening to sue him. (The suit was dropped when Mike apologized.) His cartoon strip, “Mother Goose & Grimm,” had a weeklong series making fun of commercial products. One of his characters said:

“Y’know, there’s a big crime syndicate in Colombia. So when they say there’s a little bit of Juan Valdez in every can, maybe they’re not kidding.”

Sources

“Caffeine: How does it affect blood pressure?” by Dr. Sheldon G. Sheps, Mayo Clinic, mayoclinic.org. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-pressure/expert-answers/blood-pressure/faq-20058543

“Does Coffee Raise Blood Pressure? Time to Clarify the Confusion,” by staff dietician, Dec. 6, 2017, Diet vs. Disease. https://www.dietvsdisease.org/does-coffee-raise-blood-pressure/

“Does Caffeine Increase Blood Pressure?” by Dr. Craig Weber, updated Dec. 22, 2017, verywellhealth.com. https://www.verywellhealth.com/does-caffeine-increase-blood-pressure-1764070

“Caffeine’s Effect on Blood Pressure,” from WebMD archives, May 17, 2002. https://www.webmd.com/hypertension-high-blood-pressure/news/20020517/caffeines-effect-on-blood-pressure#1